You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
