My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
