so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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