swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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