I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize