Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
