it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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