i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize