i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
