u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
