how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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