why didn't you poke me back
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
