Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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