Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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