I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
