yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
