When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
