I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
