that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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