Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
