i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
