Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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