he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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