called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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