They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
