it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
