I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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