KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
