I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
