Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
