clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Two words: blizzard sex
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
