Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
