trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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