boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
