were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize