I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
