So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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