My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
