I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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