We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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