two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
