And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
