Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
