That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
is wine microwaveable?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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