Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
