We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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