you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
