I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
