i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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