I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
