Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
