I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
