Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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