Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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