I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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