Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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