btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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