First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize