life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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