the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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