Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
